I have a lot of friends that are pregnant or contemplating a pregnancy. And to those of you who are about to travel down this path of joy I would like to suggest some vintage names that will make your child a sure fire hit of the family, school and life in general.
1. Ebenezer
2. Herbert
3. Igor
4. Nicodemus
5. Cornelius
1. Ezmerelda
2. Drucella
3. Gertrud
4. Andromeda
5. Aquanetta
P.S. your welcome pregnant people.
Double P.S. these names are meant for you and not me. We already have our boy name: Dirk Steel Griffin and girl: Bambi Woods Griffin.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
I have decided that every week I will write my top four. Yes four. Why four and not three? Well first of all I don't like odd numbers. I also find three over done and over rated. And lastly, why have three when you can have one extra?
Reasons I hate the movie theatre:
1. Why? Why? Why in the hell do you have to sit in front of me, next to me or directly behind me when we are the only people in the theatre and there are about 100 open seats? Do people do this because they know it angers me? Or is it because I just have an aura of awesomeness and they are hoping to catch some?
2. If you can't go 10 seconds with out receiving a text, email or phone call... then don't come to the movie. Haven't these a-holes seen the movie disclaimers with the "cool cat" that says, be courteous and turn your phone off? And yes, the glow of your stupid phone is also distracting. If you can't bare to be away from your precious phone then go somewhere else like the bowling alley.
3. Close your freaking mouth when you chew and breath. Do you eat this loudly at home? Because if you do, I'm surprised you have any friends. Why do I always get the loud mouth breather/popcorn eater next to me. Why can't they have a loud person section of the theatre that is not next to me?
4. If you have a small child, why would you take them to see a graphic movie? And further more, why are you surprised when they are horrified and have bad dreams? "I had no one to watch my kid and these types of movies don't bother junior" is a lame ass excuse and you should be slapped and then forced to watch a piece of shit movie like White Chicks until you beg for mercy.
Question to self. With these top four reasons I hate the theatre, why do I continue to go? I must be a gluten for punishment. I hate large groups of people, don't like to be touched and get easily annoyed yet I do this?
Reasons I hate the movie theatre:
1. Why? Why? Why in the hell do you have to sit in front of me, next to me or directly behind me when we are the only people in the theatre and there are about 100 open seats? Do people do this because they know it angers me? Or is it because I just have an aura of awesomeness and they are hoping to catch some?
2. If you can't go 10 seconds with out receiving a text, email or phone call... then don't come to the movie. Haven't these a-holes seen the movie disclaimers with the "cool cat" that says, be courteous and turn your phone off? And yes, the glow of your stupid phone is also distracting. If you can't bare to be away from your precious phone then go somewhere else like the bowling alley.
3. Close your freaking mouth when you chew and breath. Do you eat this loudly at home? Because if you do, I'm surprised you have any friends. Why do I always get the loud mouth breather/popcorn eater next to me. Why can't they have a loud person section of the theatre that is not next to me?
4. If you have a small child, why would you take them to see a graphic movie? And further more, why are you surprised when they are horrified and have bad dreams? "I had no one to watch my kid and these types of movies don't bother junior" is a lame ass excuse and you should be slapped and then forced to watch a piece of shit movie like White Chicks until you beg for mercy.
Question to self. With these top four reasons I hate the theatre, why do I continue to go? I must be a gluten for punishment. I hate large groups of people, don't like to be touched and get easily annoyed yet I do this?
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